Monday, November 15, 2010

WTF? I Am On The Ocean!

This is not a Hyundai I am driving.

Really, sometimes I feel like I can barely drive. Still, I obviously made it through driver's ed. However there is no such thing as driver's ed for a sailboat, at least not that I know about. It is more like flying by the seat of your pants while your boyfriend--the real sailor--goes below to take a piss.

The real sailor tells me I don't have anything to be ashamed of. Apparently when most people take the helm at sea for the first time, or the second time, or the third time, or the fourth time, the boat just turns in wayward circles and they sort of scream in the delight and the thrill of it all. Losing control just never felt so exhilarating. Sort of like being on a roller coaster. Except that the ocean is not a theme park. In fact, it might be fair to say that you are the ocean's bitch.

On the other hand, I had the darned boat pointed in the correct direction from the very beginning. Which is great for me. But internally it wasn't so cool because I thought if I made one single, itty-bitty mistake, we were all OMG going to die right this instant. (This should tell you a lot about me: someone raised me to think I have to be perfect; and I catastrophize. Which is a fancy word I learned recently in a, ahem, certain milieu.) Equally possible, one of us would escape but the other would be trapped in the boat like Jeff Bridges' wife in White Squall. So I would either 'enjoy' a watery death or feel guilty for the rest of my life. Or worse, we would all be eaten by pilot whales, which normally seem pretty harmless.

Trust me. I saw a few the other day after I finally started to relax.

Which is the point I wanted to make. About relaxing. Which I did. You would never relax on a roller coaster. But a beautiful day to sail upon the sea sort of does a lot to unwind tension and anxiety.

Also, the ocean is full of dolphins. Did I mention the dolphins? A colossal pod of winsome creatures of the sea. Some swam right near the boat.

Wild dolphin make everything alright. I am left like a little kid at Christmas in their presence. Please don't eat the tuna. Thank you.

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