Sunday, November 21, 2010

I Think My Boyfriend's Going To Break Up With Me Because I Broke The Car For Good

How This Makes Me Feel

It gives me a stomachache that all the lingonberry soda in the world won't settle.

It makes me wish I had a time machine so I could go back in said time and notice the exact moment when the check engine light came on while I was driving 75 mph on the freeway in the moist, dark night so that I could have pulled off the road in a more timely manner and before the situation really came to a head.

Did I mention the stomachache?

Actually, this situation makes me wish a lot of things and is not at all funny. For example, I wish I were a different person. Also, if I get dumped, all the cuddling in the world with my cat, Gerald Butler is not going to make me feel better.

Any better at all…Am I catastrophizing right now? Or just being realistic? Is the whole world going to hell in a hand basket? Where's that lingonberry soda? I seriously need it right now.

Because my stomach still hurts.

Why can't I be normal? Why was I feeling so anxious about driving and the upcoming social event that instead of carefully monitoring the instrument panel at appropriate intervals, I failed to notice the check engine light? After all, I monitor my speed constantly.

(In the background, Cher sings "If I could turn back time.")

7 (1): Because Kaiser Permanente is stingy with their therapy sessions;

and 7(2): see above.

Really, last night was not a good night for me. I should have stayed home. I was just not feeling 'it,' as they say. Plus I had forgotten to unmute the GPS and the uncanny silence was unnerving me.

Definitely should have stayed home. I could have spent last night watching Farscape on DVD and now instead I am in mountains of shit, dog-house style.

Look away. This might get ugly.

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