Saturday, September 8, 2007

In Other News, I Have Absolutely Nothing To Say About Anything

Please enter the void of my mind. It is ugly and sinister here, so make sure to bring layers.

I had to go away for a few days. But I am not sure where I went. There was some guinea pig there wearing a fanny pack who kept trying to give me Klonopin.

I met a lot of lost souls along the way. People who had committed all sorts of sins.

You're just going to have to bear with me, I told them. Because I'm not exactly sure where I'm going. I just woke up in a parking lot somewhere. I remember that I went to the store to buy cigarettes. I must have had a fugue. Hopefully I lucked out of having to do something hugely responsible.

The others didn't buy it. Also they thought the guinea pig was really, really weird. Go back to school, they said. And then suddenly I remembered who I was. I was Selma, Beowulf's girlfriend! I had been waiting for him to swing by my hut on his horse because we had planned to go for a little picnic, but he never showed up and then somebody sneaked up on me from
behind and hit me over the head with a piece of petrified troll dung.

I don't think I remember a guinea pig there but we might have just eaten it.


Jack Morgan said...

I have never eaten a guinea pig. They look delicious, though.

Cameron said...

your vegetarian tendencies are faltering Mr. Morgan. Are you going to broil or bake or bbq your furry friend?