Thursday, August 23, 2007

I Used to Live with Some Guy in a Great Loft in Fruitvale. Now I Lead a Quiet Life in North Oakland with My Cat, Gerard Butler.

Gerard Butler, housecat, in a moment of quiet contemplation

I love my cat, Gerard Butler, so much. I love him so much that I even went to the extra trouble of putting up some cute picket white fencing around the bottomless pit in our back yard juuuust high enough so that he would not be in danger of jumping over and falling in.

To spice up our quiet life, my cat, Gerard Butler, and I sometimes play make believe. Once we pretended that my cat, Gerard Butler, and 299 of his closest cat compadres defended our side yard from that nasty little Pomeranian mix from a few houses down who is always peeing on our walkway and leaving other waste products as well. In the end, the Pomeranian mix won the day, but my cat, Gerard Butler, and his 299 closest behaved so valiantly that I have to say they taught me a real lesson about courage, teamwork, and sacrifice.

We also play at 'Beowulf' and 'Selma.' My cat, Gerard Butler, and I trade off who will play Beowulf and who will play Selma.

A typical interaction might go like this--

Me/Beowulf: Selma? Who the f*ck is Selma?

Gerard Butler/Selma: Meow!

Me/Beowulf: What's that you say? You're telling me that you are a 'sensual witch?'

I would love to be able to share with you many other intimate details of the quiet life I live in North Oakland with my cat, Gerard Butler, but other pressing commitments are dragging me away. My cat, Gerard Butler, is hungry.

1 comment:

Maricela said...

This is too Christopher Smart of you.