My New Year's Non-Resolutions: The Tradition Continues

Hello everyone. Thanks to my new job, which requires me to get up really early New Year's Day, I am not going to be whooping it up and letting out my inner hooligan tonight, but rather spending a nice, quiet evening at home with my trusty sidekick: my cat, Gerard Butler. But why not take a minute, before the Netflix and Nutella toast begin, to take stock of the coming year and compose a small list of things I will continue not to do. It is far easier to continue not to do things than to totally revamp your life by joining a gym, starting a yoga routine, or meeting Mr. Right, and by not doing the following things on my list, I will make the world a better place. For you and for me. And I do mean you, because who else do you think I am going to call at 3 am to bail me out after I have been arrested for howling at the moon in Tilden Park.

My List (short this year, but I have been feeling punchy lately):

1. I will continue not to howl at the moon in Tilden Park.

2. I will continue not to waterboard anyone.

3. I will continue not to beat my cat, Gerard Butler, stoutly about the head and shoulders when he throws up on my running shoes. Poor little thing just has a tummy ache.

Good luck with totally revamping your lifestyle.