It's Almost Like My Roommate Works At A Bookstore And Keeps Bringing Books Home. Except She Works At A Pet Store.

Apparently, I barely escaped living across the hall from a tarantula.

My other roommates made a tacit agreement that I was never to be told of this, but I found out anyways. Presumably, they kept this information hidden from me because they did not want me to "freak out." However, considering that I would have lived closest to said tarantula, and therefore would be most in danger of waking up in the dead of night with spindly, poisonous legs crawling over my face, I think "freaking out" is justifiable. Thank you.

My Cat Is So Cute I Just Want To Squash Him. However, All The Other Pets In My House Disgust Me.

My cute cat, Stanley, finally looks like a cat again

Unbeknownst to me, I have been living across the hall in my apartment from a rodent farm. There are also snakes involved. I fear something truly nefarious is taking place. On top of that, my cat's chubby co-pet, Morgen, had her brand of food switched and now has gastrointestinal distress. Consequentially, the front half of our apartment smells like a dirty diaper. I am becoming one of those people who breathe through their mouths a lot and/or burn a lot of incense. Not the kind of place you would bring guests over to.

Oh, hello there! Don't mind the cat poop. And why don't you step on back to our eenie-weenie chamber of horrors. Please just don't tell me it's 'nature.' I am okay with 'nature.' That is something that takes place outside or at the zoo. But not across the hallway from my bedroom. Thank you.